A letter to myself.....!!!!!

My dear-  My ownself.......

How is me ? How was I ? How I have been ?

I am really sorry, for not being in touch with myself. I know this is unforgivable, but only I can forgive myself...Right..?

I ignored my own voice in the midst of world... 
I pretended to be strong and never let my tears roll down...
I smiled though  I needed a shoulder to cry...
I laughed louder, to hide my whispering pain that I had...
I was feeling suffocated though in freedom...
I gave time to all,  except to my own-self... 
How rude I was with me, How rude...?

Now I am really fine... I am always with me...

As I am back to pavilion....
Yes, I have changed a bit...
Now I hear only my voice, I can't Ignore worldly matters,
but surely can pretend to be...
Now, I pamper myself though I don't have any pain...
I need not pretend to be strong, as I have accepted me unconditionally, the way I am, so no tears dare to roll down....
I am satisfied with myself, and I Can give shoulders to the needy...
Though I am not free, but I can experience freedom without suffocation...


I have learned one lesson- " Come what may, I would never loose myself. I can never satisfy others expectations, but can strive to satisfy my own. Though I may fail, but this failure will improve me each time. " 

I will always take care of myself, as the most precious person in my life is "ME".  when there is something in my pocket,  I can support others. My own pocket needs to be full of Love, Care, Respect, Gratitude, Unconditional Acceptance, Truth, Peace, Trust, Help for myself. Then only I can lend others.

I welcome myself again in my own-life. Now I would never let myself go away from me. Please accept me, though I have changed, this change is for better.

Lots of love , care and wishes to I, Me and Myself....

Berang si mei , berang sa wo, berang se hum…!!!!!!!!!!

Berang  si  mei , berang sa wo, berang se hum…!!!!!!!!!!

Rangeen si  is duniya me rang kayi hai …..

Par mujhsa berang kahi nahi …..

Har rang me  jaisi ek chamak hai …

Mera berang  sa rang dekhkar maayoos hoti me …

Rang  koi chadte hi nahi mujhpe …

Lagi koshish karne koi rang  chadhane mujhpe…..

Dhoondhne lagi ki konsa rang mujh par khil uthega…..

Mujhsa berang koi tha waha khada …

Par wo berang kaafi mohak   tha…

Jitni nazar churaaoo uss be rang se ,

Utni hi  nazar daudti uspe….

Kahi uss berang ko bhi ye rang mohak toh nahi laga ..?

Mene apne aap ko dekha  …

Mera berang  bhi khilne laga ….

Kya yahi wo berang hai  jo mujhe rangeen  karega..?

Wo berang  kadamo ke faasle kam  karte hue ,

Mujh tak aa pohocha….!!!

Aur apne berang se rang me muhe doobo diya….

Yahi berang sa rang me dhoondh rahi thi …

jo mujhme milkar khud bhi khil utha …

dono ka wo berang kayi rango se bhi chamak raha tha…

berang si me , berang sa wo, berang se hum khill uthe…

Don't Know which kind of feeling I am going through........ ???????????

I don't wish to discuss the history, that India was like this and  it became like this now.... !!!! why I am forced to have faith in people who are wicked, corrupt, culprit, criminal  and dishonest... !!! Its such a disgusting feeling about them... why... ? I just don't feel proud about India any more ... I am trying to build faith but I don't wish to build my faith on these false and hollow optimism and deliberately having faith in good ....

Its just pretty simple we demand honesty and integrity form people who take oath to be like that. .. If these parliamentarians are considering themselves supreme or sovereign  then why their acts are of cowards and hypocrites...

Democracy is above all in the present era. We demand developmental democracy.  No need to read the entire constitution just go through this preamble ---

"WE, THE PEOPLE OF INDIA, having solemnly resolved to constitute India into a SOVEREIGN SOCIALIST SECULAR DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC and to secure to all its citizens:
JUSTICE, social, economic and political;
LIBERTY of thought, expression, belief, faith and worship;
EQUALITY of status and of opportunity;
and to promote among them all
FRATERNITY assuring the dignity of the individual and the unity of the Nation;
IN OUR CONSTITUENT ASSEMBLY this twenty-sixth day of November, 1949, do HEREBY ADOPT, ENACT AND GIVE TO OURSELVES THIS CONSTITUTION."

It clearly mentions "We the People...." , Not we the Parliamentarians... But yessss the job is assigned to Parliamentarians and bureaucrats and all such institutions which are giving public service and whatsoever ... Its not that only Government institute need to be honest and improvise

And look at what have we achieved....?  Media is partly or fully sold out ... Quality of education is only for rich who can afford to pay in lakhs.... Poor people cannot afford to fall ill as they cannot afford to pay bill ...  We can have hundreds of lights in malls but a poor Indian kid  who tries to study after working in farm has to sit under lantern , and that also his/ her mother shouts at them that dont waste so much of kerosene or oil for studying finally you have to work in farm only.... The collector is burnt alive when he gets hold of a mafia or his scam....  but criminals are bailed out easily if not easily but with some drama but no justice to the victim...

What has our freedom fighters dreamt about our nation and what have we made it... The culprit is each and everyone of us... why not simply do your duty the way it is told... why u need always something extra without putting any extra effort...

As an Indian what I demand from my nation and what do I contribute as a citizen. When as a citizen I am responsible enough towards my nation why cant this nation be towards me.. If parliament is supreme let them be but why do they act like   one of of the "  inferior species " on earth.

Now some highly intelligent people might argue no there are good people also and Anna movement is unconstitutional and blah ... blahhh ... blahhh ... and story continues the parliament with few good people  has burried voice and the   anna movement  or  people's agitation is nonsense.... then life goes on and we will get up everyday read newspaper which is paid news,  we will watch cricket and some movies every weekend ... if cannot afford to spend then window shopping ... why worry.... lets take a sigh of relief....

Life will go on... no worry ... we have at least some  facilities if not good facilities ... why complain ... lets adjust and adapt ..... but wait think for a while why adjust and why adapt ... why not complain ... why not raise issues.... why not...?

who am I .... ?

who am I .... ?

Everyday I feel that I need to recreate myself.... and I end with just as I was...!!!!!! But why do I feel to recreate myself... am I not satisfied with my beingness... ? Then I realised that  I want something more from me ... I have started expecting from myself to make me a better one each day...

I anticipated and participated in making myself ... I was feeling better... I listened to myself , my being, my own myself...oh my god I expect a lot from me... but all expectations were very right... as i know myself better that me..... And there were smiles all around...

soon I realised there are other forces acting as well in carving me... i looked upon ... again it was me only.... i looked more deeper in me ... OMG !!!! again I found it was me only...!!!! then why doubt ... 

selfdoubt is dangerous... right ... but self doubt also gives u an opportunity to make yourself more better than ever !!! My doubt was right .. I was making myself  not how I see myself ... I was making myself the way I want my love to see me... and here comes the climax in I, Me and myself....

I was looking up for my someone's expectations in making myself.... But I have not found yet my real mine , my own mine... may be i have met  myself  but has not recognised it or ignored it... and U know what who is my love----- its Me again.... !!!!!

what i am loving is now being happy with myself.... and i see my own self in someone who is me .. so the process of cariving will never end.. every day I will create my ownself for myself.... everyday I am becoming a new me... so that  In the end I will be just me ... just mine ...just myself .... !!!!!!

i still dont know who am i .... but for sure i can be none other than I , Me an Myself...!!!!!

Am I really Writing, to express my self ....

 A simple question.... Am I Really Writing to Write...

It's one of the  best form my expression... 

Infact penning down my thoughts is my "HOBBY"

But I always edit it....

To make it readable... I avoid complex thoughts...

Then I moderate it.... To make it simpler.....

And then I realise... This is not what I wanted to express...

I feel sometimes my thoughts and feelings are caged....

While writing I am worried if some one reads it..... Then... ?

Now.... I feel fresh... and bloomed and blossomed...

Because I broke the cage of so called " Hollow Ideals, values, etc,"

I would fly higher in my thoughts...  Would dare to rise and go where ever my heart wishes...!!!

Now I am actually writing to express myself....!!!

By....

Express Tej....

Addiction to music is good for health.....!!!!!!!!!

Just fall in love with art to explore its world. It has no language barrier. It’s beyond words. Music is one of the best forms of art. Music means Self-blooming and oneness. When this self expands it’s not only the individual self but the unlimited Self. Music is the expansion of unlimited reality. Music is universal.

There are many genres of music like classical music, rock, jazz, metal, rap, folk, etc. They are in the format of songs having lyrics and  other form composed only with musical instrument with no words to express the emotion of music. It’s the eminence of instrumental music that you have liberty to drive your frame of mind.

Only a bunch of people prefer listening instrumental music over songs. Shandilya Partho , an instrumental  music addict says, “Music possesses both qualities – it’s soothing as well as agitating. Instrumental music particularly, being bereft of words, does not meddle with one’s thinking process in fact it augments it. Usually when one listens to songs (i.e with lyrics), one’s mood is generally being dictated by the words…whereas while listening to instrumental, u have a measure of freedom with the direction of your thinking process”.

Milind Tulankar , India’s top most Jaltarang musician and also an artist. Recently he gifted Lata Mangeshkar her portrait. His definition of music is in the form of divine.  He compares music with the manifestation of God. As god is in the form of Guna and Nirgun. So is with music, lyrics goes with is Guna in a physical form and instrumental music as a Nirguna. He says, “ Jaltarng is the only instrument which always has a blissful melody, no sad versions”.  Jaltrang is one of the oldest instruments in the world, but most rarely heard instruments today.

Call of the Valley one of the very popular instrumental music album of santoor , Guitar and Bansuri. Composed by Shivkumar Sharma – santoor, the guitarist Brijbhushan Kabra, and flutist Hariprasad Chaurasia were all aged about 30. When you listen to this music you could actually feel that they used their instruments to tell the story. A day in the life of a shepherd in Kashmir using ragas associated with various times of the day to advance the dramatic narrative. Its music is wonderful that it really distresses you. One should listen to Call of the valley at least once in life.

Music is heard by each individual according to his own capacity of receptivity.  Music is true not only from the intellectual and emotional point of view, but also from the spiritual point of view. Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life. Music like every creation of art, is mightier than the artist. So music is also seen as a healer in stress, it is used as remedy in various treatments. Addiction to music is  really good for health it keeps you happy and blissful.

....... 

By.......

A n Addicted Tejashri....

एक मासूम कली .....

एक मासूम कली .....

माँ, मुझे खिलना है ... मुझे ना तोड़ो ...

क्या मै इतनी बुरी हु... की आप मुझे देखने से पहले ही मिटाना चाहती हो...

कल भगवान जी बोल रहे थे, अगर कोई दिक्कत आये , परेशानी हो, तकलीफ हो..

अपनी माँ को बताना, अब तुम्हारी माँ ही सब कुछ है ...

और माँ अब में कहा जाऊ , उस दिन आप कह रही थी ...

मेरी कोख तुझे हमेशा मेह्फुस रखेगी , अब में कहा जाऊ माँ ...

मै  अपना रास्ता खुद बनाउंगी, मुझे चलना ही नहीं दौड़ना है माँ...

मुझसे ना छीनो मेरा जीवन... मुझे जीना है माँ ...

आप अब प्यार से अपनी कोख छूती  तक नही, खैर आपकी माँ बोहोत अच्छी होगी ...

काश मेरी भी होती...

पर एक बात कायम है, मै जरुर जन्म लुंगी...

एक लड़की होना मेरा गुन्हा नही, मुझे आना है इस दुनिया में ...

आप जरुर मेरे भगवान होंगे, पर आप मेरे जीवन को यु खिलने से पहले नही मुर्झासकते...

बस ... मेरी जान और कुछ ना बोल... क्या तुम मेरे आसू महसूस नहीं कर सकती...

माँ हु मै तेरी, और मै दुनिया की सबसे अच्छी माँ बनना चाहती हु...

मै जरुर तुझे ये दुनिया में लाऊंगी, अपनी जान पर खेल कर...

तू ना डर मेरी बच्ची ... मै हु ना ..

तुने मुझे मेरे ताकत का एहसास दिलाया है ...

मै क्यू कमजोर होकर , तुझसे तेरी खुशिया छिनु ...

 मुझे कोई हक़ नहीं की मै , मेरी कलि को खिलने से पहले तोडू..

 तू तो मेरा इतना सुंदर फुल होगा , की सारा बगीचा फीका पड़ेगा  तेरे सामने...

जिन्दगी के इतने दुःख झेले है , की मै नहीं चाहती थी ...

तू भी वही झेले... इसीलिए मिटाना चाहती थी तुझे..

जब तुम मुझसे भी धैर्यशील हो जीवन को लेकर ...

तो में कौन  होती हु , तुमसे तुम्हारा साँस छिनने वाली..

अब नहीं झेलना , अब नहीं सेहना,  अब है हसना, मुस्कुरुना और गाना ... 

मेरे घर आयी एक नन्ही परी... एक नन्ही परी हो  ओ ... एक नन्ही परी...